Smiling through Everything isn't the Answer - Exploring Emotional Suppression

Emotional Suppression

Have you ever just smiled during an argument or stayed quiet when someone said something upsetting? The moment when you hold back your real emotions can be considered emotional suppression. While it can help maintain peace in the moment, constantly suppressing emotions can have a subtle yet lasting impact on both our mental and physical health.

What is Emotional Suppression?

Emotional suppression refers to the conscious decision to inhibit emotional expression during emotionally charged moments (Gross & Levenson, 1993). For example, imagine feeling furious in a meeting or heartbroken during a conversation, yet maintaining a calm exterior. These moments highlight how we often suppress our emotions to maintain social harmony or avoid discomfort.

Sometimes, it may be necessary to stay composed, as it can help us navigate tense situations. But when suppression becomes a habitual coping mechanism, especially in painful experiences, it may create more harm than good.

Why Does it Matter?

While you may appear “fine” on the outside, suppression often increases emotional intensity and physical stress responses internally. Research shows that it can heighten heart rate, raise blood pressure, and activate the sympathetic nervous system — our body’s fight-or-flight mode (Richards & Gross, 1999). Additionally, chronic emotional suppression has also been linked to mental health difficulties like anxiety and depression (Aldao et al., 2010). It shows that emotions that aren't expressed don't disappear, but they often show up in other ways, like muscle tension, irritability, or trouble sleeping. It may also impact how we think, as suppressing emotions consumes mental resources and potentially impairs working memory, making it harder to focus or make decisions (Richards & Gross, 1999).

Signs You Might Be Suppressing Emotions

You could be emotionally suppressing without realising it. Some common signs include:

• Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected

• Avoiding vulnerability or finding it difficult to ask for help

• Frequent tension headaches or muscle tightness

How Can We Express Our Emotions in Healthier Ways?

Learning to express emotions may take time, but it doesn’t require a complete life change. With small and mindful steps, you can gradually build emotional awareness and resilience.

Here’s a simple guide to get started:

1. Stop and Notice How You Feel. Ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now?” Naming your emotions helps reduce their intensity (Lieberman et al., 2007).

2. Accept Your Emotions. Instead of brushing them aside, remind yourself: It’s okay to feel this way and emotions are part of being human. As habitually accepting mental experiences broadly increases psychological health (Ford et al., 2018). 

3. Take a Few Deep Breaths. Breathe slowly or focus on your senses. Such grounding techniques help you stay present and regain calm (Jiménez-Picón et al., 2021).

4. Reach Out to Someone You Trust. You don’t have to go through tough emotions alone. A short message or honest conversation to simply open up yourself can bring huge relief (Pennebaker, 2012).

5. Reframe the Situation. Try looking at things from a new angle. Maybe that comment wasn’t personal, or the stress is temporary. Reframing your perspective can reduce emotional distress (Megías-Robles et al., 2019).

6. Practice Empathy. Pause and consider how others might be feeling, too. Understanding others can help you feel more connected and less alone (Ioannidou & Konstantikaki, 2008) .

7. Set Healthy Boundaries. It’s okay to say “Not right now” or take space when needed as protecting your energy supports emotional balance.

8. Reflect but Don’t Overthink it. Reflection helps you grow and rumination can keep you stuck (Russell, 2021). Ask, “What can I learn from this?” Then gently move on.

9. Celebrate Small Wins. Noticing progress matters. Maybe you paused before reacting or opened up to someone. Write them down because that’s growth!

10. Build Emotional Intelligence. All these habits help you become more emotionally aware, intentional, and empathetic. And that’s emotional intelligence — the ability to manage your emotions and relate well to others (Mayer et al., 2000).

Suppressing emotions can help you get through certain moments, but over time, it may disconnect you from yourself and others. Making space for your feelings is a vital act of self-care. And keep in mind that being honest about how you feel doesn’t make you fragile, but it makes you human. And in that vulnerability lies the strength to grow, heal, and connect more deeply with the world around you.

Writer: Nicole Leung

Published: 22/07/2026

References:

Aldao, A., Nolen-Hoeksema, S., & Schweizer, S. (2010). Emotion-regulation strategies across psychopathology: a meta-analytic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(2), 217–237., Gross, J. J., & Muñoz, R. F. (1995). Emotion regulation and mental health. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 2(2), 151–164.

Brockman, R., Ciarrochi, J., Parker, P., & Kashdan, T. (2016). Emotion regulation strategies in daily life: mindfulness, cognitive reappraisal and emotion suppression. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, 46(2), 91–113. https://doi.org/10.1080/16506073.2016.1218926

Ford, B. Q., Lam, P., John, O. P., & Mauss, I. B. (2018). The psychological health benefits of accepting negative emotions and thoughts: Laboratory, diary, and longitudinal evidence. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(6), 107

Gross, J. J., & Levenson, R. W. (1993). Emotional suppression: physiology, self-report, and expressive behavior. Journal of personality and social psychology, 64(6), 970.

Ioannidou, F., & Konstantikaki, V. (2008). Empathy and emotional intelligence: What is it really about?. International Journal of caring sciences, 1(3), 118.

Jiménez-Picón, N., Romero-Martín, M., Ponce-Blandón, J. A., Ramirez-Baena, L., Palomo-Lara, J. C., & Gómez-Salgado, J. (2021). The relationship between mindfulness and emotional intelligence as a protective factor for healthcare professionals: Systematic review. International journal of environmental research and public health, 18(10), 5491.

Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words. Psychological science, 18(5), 421-428.

Mayer, J. D., Salovey, P., & Caruso, D. (2000). Models of emotional intelligence. Handbook of intelligence, 2, 396-420.

Megías-Robles, A., Gutiérrez-Cobo, M. J., Gómez-Leal, R., Cabello, R., Gross, J. J., & Fernández-Berrocal, P. (2019). Emotionally intelligent people reappraise rather than suppress their emotions. PloS one, 14(8), e0220688.

Pennebaker, J. W. (2012). Opening up: The healing power of expressing emotions. Guilford Press.

Russell, J. L. (2021). Stuck on repeat: Why do we continue to ruminate?. Synthese, 199(5), 13143-13162.

Richards, J. M., & Gross, J. J. (1999). Composure at Any Cost? The Cognitive Consequences of Emotion Suppression. Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin, 25(8), 1033–1044. https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672992511010