How do I alleviate my own stress?
Every individual encounters stressful situations throughout their lives. Completely avoiding stressful situations is also impossible, but there are always healthier ways of managing our stress to avoid psychological burnout.
Here are some time-based strategies you can employ to calm your stress.
5 minutes or less
Rushing for time? Here are some quick5-minute strategies for you to get moving and calm your nerves:
Five-senses exercise aka grounding exercise (Colorado State University Global, 2020):
Look around you, name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel/touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
Three-minute breathing technique (Colorado State University Global, 2020):
Answer the question: “How am I currentlyfeeling/doing?” Reflect on the answer for 1 minute.
In the 2nd minute, focus on your breathing. Slow your breathing down. Breathe in for 5 seconds and breathe out for 5 seconds. Repeat this 5 times. Conversely, you can try pranayama breathing, an acupuncture method where you breathe only through one nostril at a time to decrease your anxiety (Colorado Law, 2018).
In the 3rd minute, focus your awareness on how these breaths affect your body physically — from your nose to your lungs and to your heart, and how this exercise releases your muscle tension.
Close your eyes and listen to your favourite song, focusing only on the lyrics.
Stand up, stretch, and take a quick stroll under the sun.
Light your favourite candle/ diffuse your favourite scent, and take a power nap for 5 minutes. Sometimes, gaining rest can help lower your cortisol levels and help you feel re-energised when you are awake again! Below are some popular scents that help calm your nerves (Yuen, 2020):
Lavender
Bergamot
Rose
Sandalwood
Orange blossom
Chamomile
Pen down your thoughts.
Eat some snacks and chocolate to get those endorphins.
Snuggle with a pet, or hug someone for 30 seconds.
10 Minutes
Feel like you can spare a bit more time? Here are some 10-minute strategies to cope with your stress:
Go for a long stroll around your estate/block a fewtimes. In the first round, just observe your environment around you. In the second round, reflect on your own thoughts and organise them. In the final round, take a quick jog to release the muscle tension in your shoulders.
Do 10-minute yoga. Here is a link to a 10-minute yoga routine for stress and anxiety relief: link (YouTube, 2020).
Do a body scan.
Close your eyes and scan your body.
Pay close attention to your physical senses and feelings.
Move your attention to your other senses like smell, taste, breathing sounds, and emotions. Let these emotions slowly wash over you and pass you.
Open your eyes slowly and move around the room and step outside into the sun.
Take a quick stroll in the sun and walk back to your room.
Take a 10-minute power nap.
Make a quick snack and make some coffee or tea for a 10-minute snack break.
4-7-8 breathing method also known as the “relaxing breathing” method (MediLexicon International, n.d.).
Breathe in for 4 seconds.
Hold your breath for 7 seconds. Exhale for 8 seconds.
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) method (MediLexicon International, n.d).
Identify the issue causing stress, focusing on one.
Rank the intensity/severity of the issue from 0 - 10 with 10 being extremely stressful.
Decide on a phrase to repeat to yourself (eg: “I embrace the issues I am facing.”) while continuously tapping on the outer fleshy part of your hand (refer to KC on fig. 1).
Repeating the phrase, tap the following points in sequence as follows: top of the head (TH), beginning of eyebrows (EB), side of the eye (SE), on the bone under the eye (UE), directly under the nose (UN), in the middle between the lower lip and the chin (CH), the beginning of each collarbone (CB), 4 inches approximately under your armpits (UA)
30 minutes
Got some time to spare and meditate? Below are some 30-minute strategies for you to reduce your stress:
Do some exercise (Harvard Health, 2022).
HITT exercise for 30minutes: link (YouTube,2019).
Swimming
Weightlifting
Taichi,
Qigong
Yoga routine for 30minutes: link (YouTube,2020).
Take a stroll
Draw
Take a 30-minute nap.
Talk to your family or friends
Take a hot and steamy bath
Clean your room and desk. This helps clear your mind by clearing your physical space.
These strategies are not completely full-proof and might not work for every individual.. Instead of sticking to one technique, it is always recommended to try a few techniques together to see which suits you,,and continually practise these techniques everyday. If you find that these methods are not working out for you,, it might be advisable to start seeking professional help.
How do I help others who are stressed?
When seeing a friend/family member in need, we all probably have the experience of worrying for them. Depending on the individual, however, we get varied responses which may not necessarily be representative of their innate feelings.
Below are some ways to help a struggling friend or individual under stress!
Educate yourself before reaching out
Non-exhaustive list of symptoms/signs that someone you know is stressed or struggling
Agitation — Uncharacteristic anger or irritation.
Pessimism — Overcome with hopelessness and unmotivated to do anything; feeling numb.
Withdrawal — Isolation from others and pulling out from activities one usually participates in.
Self-neglect — Not taking care of one’s physical and psychological well-being. Participates in dangerous activities that can harm the person.
Personality change — Difference in the way one treats others.
Physical changes — Sudden loss or gain of weight; eating or sleeping too much.
By familiarising ourselves with these early warning signs, we can be more certain about what not to say to avoid triggering an individual (The College of St.Scholastica, 2022). Furthermore, we can aid an individual in recognising that they require help and social support.
Be an active and consistent listener without judgment
Next, before brainstorming for solutions, it is essential to take your time to actively listen to what the individual has to say before interrupting (Seton HallUniversity, 2021). Explaining one’s circumstances to another individual requires a large amount of trust and it is only right that we are willing to listen to them no matter what the issue is, as doing so can already make the person feel appreciated and supported (The College of St. Scholastica, 2022).
Therefore, when attempting to ease an individual’s stress, always encourage them to talk, clarify their thoughts, be compassionate, and keep your own thoughts and advice in check first (Seton Hall University, 2021).
Be honest but not overbearing
When providing advice to your fellow friends or others, it is important to respect their opinions. As aforementioned, trust is an extremely important factor involved in calming your friend’s stress (Seton Hall University, 2021). Whilst it is good to remain transparent with your own opinions, you should not attempt to overpower your friend’s own thoughts and make them feel irrelevant. This will result in a negative outcome. Instead, remember to be an advocate so that the individual feels empowered.
Set your own boundaries
How the individual responds to your words and support depends on the relationship you have with them and also changes based on your own mental health. Thus, if you are starting to feel overwhelmed and burdened by the individual’s emotions, you should recommend that they seek external professional help
Do not disclose information to others to maintain trust
It goes without saying that to maintain trust and ease your friend’s/family member’s worries, whatever has been discussed should not be revealed to others since this might cause more stress to fall upon the individual
Stay in touch
Finally, keep in touch with your friend/ family member regularly as a reminder that you are always there for them (Seton Hall University, 2021). This establishes a strong social support network that can help relieve some stress off the individual in question.
How do I deal with sources of stress that I can’t change?
Life is full of ups and downs; but what if those downs remain for a prolonged period of time without going back “up”? This comes the time for a re-evaluation of the situation and to handle this stress in a productive way. Worrying not only drains energy, but is unproductive and would not solve the problem. As the saying goes“when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.”
Here are some pointers from Morin (2017) and HelpGuide (n.d.) to find a new perspective towards one’s troubles that cannot be changed.
Identify that source of stress and acknowledge it
Although it may be easy to identify the stressor(s), acknowledging one’s feelings, thoughts, and behaviours may be less intuitive and overlooked. Do you dismiss stress as temporary, feel that stress needs to be constantly present, or blame your stress on external sources? If so, it is time to reflect upon those attitudes and assume responsibility that one is the causal agent of their stress levels and that they have some control over it.
Determine what you have control over and areas that you do not
For example, you are a student with an upcoming presentation coming up. All the overthinking and worrying starts pouring in: what if my classmates start laughing at me? What if I forget the words to say? What if my teacher targets me and asks multiple questions after the presentation?
When this worrying gets out of control, take a step back to examine what one has control over. In this case, the student can prepare well for their presentation by rehearsing their speech multiple times until he or she familiarised with their script and becomes more confident; the student could also expect some questions that the teacher might ask, and conduct more research to be more informative and educated about the topic. It is paramount to recognise that not all things are within one’s control, and effort as well as attitude and perspective are the only aspects that are controllable.
Identify maladaptive thinking and develop healthy affirmations
Research shows that this self-doubt can bring negative consequences that impede performance (Oleson et al., 2001). It would be detrimental to continue in this vicious cycle of inadequacy; hence, it is crucial to identify these maladaptive thought patterns and aim to correct them into something more realistic and positive.
Identify your strengths! Positive affirmations have the ability to reverse those negative thoughts and become a source of motivation, and can be used to cope with anxiety or get yourself started in a particular event (Moore, 2019).
Examples of affirmations include: “I can do this”, “Today would go fine”, and “I am able to handle whatever comes my way”.
More examples can be found here:https://positivepsychology.com/daily-affirmations/#examples
Execute the 4 A’s of managing one’s stress
The 4 A’s are Avoid, Alter, Adapt, and Accept.
The first is to avoid any unnecessary stress. Learn to set up boundaries and how to say “no” when needed. Analyse your schedule; if you find yourself having way too many commitments, drop those that are not as important and come back to it later or write them off altogether if marked as unimportant.
Secondly, alter the situation. Alteration is a useful skill when that stressor is inevitable.
Connecting with someone instead of bottling everything up would allow one to release some stress, and possibly see things from a different perspective that can derive a new solution.
Finding the perfect balance of work and leisure activity is different across individuals, do what is best for you!
Thirdly, adapt to the stressor. This allows for one to regain control over the situation by changing one’s attitude. As mentioned above, positive self-affirmations are a way to correct negative beliefs about oneself and serve as a motivator. Alternatively, it may help to adjust one’s standards and to stay realistic instead of striving for perfection. Being grateful for what one has in life can also help to stay grounded.
Lastly, accept the things that are out of one’s control to be changed. This can include the death of a love done, bad grades from the previous semester, and even the presence of a potential outbreak such as Monkeypox. Not all aspects of life are meant to be within our control, hence it is vital to react productively to circumstances and not constantly ruminate about them. Identify the positives that can come out of the situation, and learn to forgive; forgiving allows one to release anger and resentment.
This guide was created by Jeanette Wong, Adalee Loh, Jacqueline Chan
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