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Grief in Children and How It Can Look Different


The death of a loved one is never easy to deal with, and people experience grief in diverse ways. Did you know that most children grasp the concept of death at age five onwards? Before that, they are more inclined to think that death is reversible or temporary (Child Bereavement UK, n.d.; Venkatesan, 2022). Although the topic of death is daunting for a child, it is crucial to stay honest with them and to guide them through their sadness and confusion. Where adults have a greater ability to discuss their emotions or express emotional and physical changes (Smith et al., n.d.), children may exhibit their grief through less obvious ways. These include regression, where they perform younger behaviour such as bedwetting and thumb sucking; they may also act their feelings out through anger and restlessness, rather than speech (Better Health Channel, n.d.). Hence, identifying grief manifestation in children is crucial, as parental or sibling loss during childhood increases vulnerability to health, academic, and relationship issues (Venkatesan, 2022).


Following the Multidimensional Grief Theory, which considers the developmental stages of children, the following distressors are suggested: separation, existential identity, and circumstance-related (Hoppe et al., 2024). 


Here are some ways to support a child through the bereavement process (see Better Health Channel, n.d.; Hoppe et al., 2024). Firstly, there is no need to hide your sadness; instead, take this opportunity to express your feelings to your child, as this may help them do the same. For younger children, use storybooks and playtime to illustrate the situation and get insight into their thoughts and feelings. Additionally, embrace and honour the legacy of the deceased, as well as transform the unpleasant side of death into something meaningful; this can include helping communities that the deceased was a part of.


Written by: Adalee Loh | Edited by: Amanda Bek


02/2025


References

Better Health Channel. (n.d.). Grief and children. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/grief-and-children 


Child Bereavement UK. (n.d.). Children’s understanding of death at different ages. https://www.childbereavementuk.org/childrens-understanding-of-death-at-different-ages 


Hoppe, R., Alvis, L., Oosterhoff, B., & Kaplow, J. (2024, January 30). Caregiver behaviors associated with positive youth development among bereaved children. Death Studies, 49(2), 166-176. https://mmhpi.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/Caregiver-behaviors-associated-with-positive-youth-development-among-bereaved-children.pdf 


Smith, M., Robinson, L., & Segal, J. (n.d.). Coping with grief and loss. HelpGuide. https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss 





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