Practising Self-Compassion

In a world that often ties success with self-discipline and achievement, we usually struggle to show ourselves the kindness we readily offer to others. Societal norms frequently emphasise self-sacrifice, toughness, and perfectionism, which can lead to harsh self-criticism. This can make it difficult to detach from self-critical thoughts, thus leading to negative mental health outcomes such as anxiety and depression (Egan et al., 2022). However, self-compassion offers an alternative — a gentler, more constructive approach that helps you grow (Neff, 2005).

What is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion refers to the practice of treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, especially in times of failure or suffering (Neff, 2011).

Self-compassion comprises three primary components (Cleveland Clinic, 2023).

Self-Kindness – Being warm and understanding toward oneself, rather than engaging in self-criticism when experiencing difficulties.
Common Humanity – Recognising that suffering and imperfection are part of the human experience.
Mindfulness – Being present with your thoughts and feelings without judgment, helping you to avoid overidentifying with negative emotions.

Why Should We Practise Self-Compassion?

Research indicates that self-compassion is a powerful psychological tool for improving mental well-being. It has been found to reduce anxiety, depression, and stress while enhancing emotional resilience. One way self-compassion achieves this is by reducing one’s tendency to overidentify with negative emotions through positive reframing (Kelly et al., 2021). By viewing challenges with a balanced perspective, individuals can respond to setbacks with greater emotional stability.

How Can We Practise Self-Compassion?

Some helpful practices to incorporate into our daily lives include (Chen, 2018; Cleveland Clinic, 2023):

Practice Self-Kindness – Speak to yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you would offer a friend.
Reframe Negative Thoughts – Instead of dwelling on failures, recognize them as opportunities for learning.
Engage in Mindfulness Practices – Meditation, journaling, and deep breathing exercises can help you stay present and reduce self-judgment.
Set Realistic Expectations – Recognize that perfection is unattainable, and mistakes are an inevitable part of growth.
Acknowledge Your Humanity – Remind yourself that we all have our struggles, and you’re not alone on this journey.

Conclusion

Self-compassion is a transformative practice that can help us foster greater emotional resilience, reduce self-criticism, and enhance overall well-being. As research continues to highlight its benefits, there is a growing recognition that self-compassion is not just a luxury but a necessity for mental and emotional health.

Written by: Tan Jo Yee

02/2025

References

Chen, Serena. (2018). Give yourself a break: The power of self-compassion. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion

Cleveland Clinic. (2023, July 23). 4 techniques for practicing self-compassion. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/self-compassion

Egan, S. J., Rees, C. S., Delalande, J., Greene, D., Fitzallen, G., Brown, S., ... & Finlay-Jones, A. (2022). A review of self-compassion as an active ingredient in the prevention and treatment of anxiety and depression in young people. Administration and Policy in Mental Health and Mental Health Services Research, 49, 385–403.

Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-compassion, self-esteem, and well-being. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5(1), 1–12. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2010.00330.x

Neff, K. D., Hsieh, Y. P., & Dejitterat, K. (2005). Self-compassion, achievement goals, and coping with academic failure. Self and identity, 4(3), 263-287. https://doi.org/10.1080/13576500444000317