Bullying Amongst Youths
- jessicaaqian
- Nov 12, 2024
- 6 min read
Introduction
Have you ever been a witness, or target, of bullying?
A Pisa study run by the OECD revealed that in 2015, 14.5% of 15-year old students described having been bullied. This placed Singapore’s students as the third most frequently bullied group out of the countries surveyed.
Evidently, whether you’re a teenager or a parent, it’s important to learn more about what bullying is and how to prevent it, as these acts of aggression can have long-lasting negative effects.
It is also essential to note that although traditional intervention often advocates for the victim’s recovery and bully’s punishment, we should get psychosocial support for both parties to effectively curb the problem.
Definition of Bullying & It's Types
Any hostile behaviour that is done deliberately and repetitively by a perpetrator onto a target is defined as an act of bullying. The two parties are also commonly in the same age group.
There are 6 main types of bullying:
1. Physical, which includes the victim being hit or pushed around, or having their property taken;
2. Verbal, where the victim is made fun of and called names;
3. Relational, which are acts of bullying that cause harm to the victim’s relationships and/or reputation, such as having rumours spread about them or socially excluding them;
4. Sexual, including the spreading of sexual texts, photos or videos belonging to the victim, or inappropriately touching the victim;
5. Prejudicial, where the victim is threatened or bullied because of their race, religion, or sexual orientation;
6. Cyber, which are any acts of bullying carried out online.
Signs of Bullying:
Although not every victim of bullying shows warning signs, parents and guardians should look out for these changes in the teenager:
Injuries that cannot be explained
Lost or destroyed property, such as stationery and clothes
Frequent complaints of aches and illnesses with unknown medical causes, such as headaches and stomach-aches
Significant changes in eating habits, including eating too much or too little
Having trouble sleeping, or nightmares
Worsening performance in school
Being upset about going to school
Avoiding hanging out with friends, or in other social situations
Lowered self-esteem
Self-destructive behaviours including self-harm or talking and thinking about suicide.
Although not every victim of bullying shows warning signs, parents and guardians should look for these changes in teenager:
Are involved in verbal or physical fights;
Show increasingly aggressive behaviour;
Have new property or unexplained extra money;
Are friends with other bullies;
Are called for disciplinary action/detention;
Are excessively concerned about their reputation or popularity.
Effects of bullying:
Victims of bullying may experience a range of issues in both the short- and long- term. The risk of long-term issues increases if the victim does not get prompt attention or treatment for being bullied.
Short Term Issue
Being socially excluded
Social withdrawal
Feeling shame
Lowered self-esteem
Symptoms of anxiety
Symptoms of depression
Worsening performance in school or work
Having trouble sleeping
Sudden changes in eating habits
Psychosomatic symptoms, including stomach-aches and headaches, with no known medical cause
Long Term Issues
Problems with having stable, trusting relationships
Low self-esteem
Substance abuse
Increased risk of self-destructive behaviour including self-harm, suicidal ideation, plans, and attempts
Anxiety disorders
Depression
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Poor health, in general
Higher likelihood of becoming victims or even perpetrators of violence and abuse in future
The effects do not end there.
Perpetrators of bullying are also more likely to be convicted for crime, including vandalism, drug abuse, violent acts and abuse of their partners and children.
Even observers of bullying have been shown to experience increased substance use and mental health issues.
Where Can I Get Help?
Seeking help for bullying can be a scary process as there may be feelings of shame, disbelief and fear. An individual who experience bullying may not know where to seek help as well. If you’re considering seeking help for bullying, here are a few sources of support which we hope would be able to help you through this scary process:
1. Your form teacher or school counsellor
Sometimes, bullying may go unnoticed by the form teacher even if they see you on a daily basis. It may be beneficial to inform your form teacher so they would keep a lookout for the behaviour and help where needed.
If you do not feel comfortable approaching your form teacher, you may also consider approaching the school’s counsellor as he/she is equipped with ways on how to manage the issue. If the situation calls for it, he/she may also act as your advocate.
2. Your parents
When there are changes in behaviour, parents are often the first ones to pick up on changes in their child as most parents would know their child well. As such, parents can be a great source of support and can act as an advocate for you if the situation calls for it.
But I Do Not Feel Comfortable Sharing With A School Staff Or My Parents!
It is alright if you do not feel comfortable approaching a staff at the school or your parents and prefer to speak to a third party! Do however, consider reaching out to external support to help you cope with your current situation.
Here are some resources you can consider utilising:
Fei Yue Community Services
6422 1599
project180@fycs.org
CHAT Hub
Located at SCAPE #05-05
Limitless
Help123
Hotline for youth cyber wellness issues/cyber bullying
1800 6123 123
TOUCH Cyber Wellness
Hotline for youth cyber wellness issues/cyber bullying
1800 377 2252
cyberwellness@touch.org.sg
Samaritans of Singapore
Hotline for individuals experiencing distress and suicidal ideation
1800 221 4444
pat@sos.org.sg
How Can Parents Help?
Parents may sometimes downplay the severity and effects of bullying. However, as mentioned in the previous sections, bullying can lead to long-lasting effects detrimental to a child’s psychological and social well-being. Thus, when a child chooses to confide in you about the bullying they experience, how you choose to respond to your child is crucial in teaching them how to manage the bullying. Here are some ways you can respond or help your child who is experiencing bullying:
1. Hear your child out
It is important to withhold assumptions and listen what your child has to share about their experiences. It may be helpful to ask questions about how the experience made them feel and reassure them that you are there for them. The act of listening can go along way as it can help your child to feel supported by you, and possibly, feel less alone in their experiences.
2. Do not be offended if your child is not comfortable sharing about his/her experiences
Sometimes, a child may not be ready to open up about what is going on. As a parent who wants to be there for your child, this can be frustrating. However, it is important to realise that children who experience bullying may face shame and fear over their experiences. Expressing frustration or annoyance may increase a child’s hesitance opening up. Instead, consider trying another day and leaving the conversation open. For example, letting your child know that it’s okay if they do not feel like talking about it yet - you are there to help if they are ready to open up.
3. Keep a bullying log
Encourage your child to share as much evidence of the bullying, whether it’s in the form of text messages, pictures etc. Keep a detailed log of when each bullying incident took place, as well as what happened then. It can be difficult to do this when there are many other responsibilities so using a designated note in your phone/laptop may be helpful.
4. Do not promise not to tell anyone. However, be sensitive not to make matters worse.
In situations where the bullying worsens, it is important not to confront the bully or his/her parent as it may worsen matters, creating further problems for you and your child. Instead, approach the child’s form teacher or the school.
Do plan what to say and be composed during the conversation. Producing the bully log mentioned in point 3 can support your case. Discuss the possible outcomes for this scenario as calmly as possible.
While approaching the school, it is also important to share with your child that ignoring the situation would not improve the situation for him/her. Encourage him/her to speak up and reassure your child that none of this is his/her fault.
5. Encourage your child to expand his/her circle of friends
Have a conversation with your child about the peer influences in his/her life. It may help to get your child to consider the people they enjoy spending time with in school, and support your child’s decision to do activities with these peers.
Encouraging your child to join a club in school or organisation outside of school can also help them to expand their social circle and meet positive influences with shared interests.
However, do bear in mind that bullying can be a traumatic experience and your child may require time to heal from the experience, especially if they had treated the bullies as their friends.
6. Help your child to improve his/her self-esteem
Set aside time to do activities that both you and your child enjoy doing. These activities should ideally instil a sense of belonging and feelings of achievement in your child. Examples of such activities include cooking, pottery and playing sports.
“School administrators can’t say it’s up to the parents. Parents can’t say it’s up to the teachers. Teachers can’t say it’s not their job. And kids can’t say, “I was too afraid to tell." Every single one of us has to play our role if we’re serious about putting an end to the madness. We are responsible. We must be."
Megan Kelley Hall (author)
Written and Edited by: Wong Su Ting, Xavierlyn Tan | Designed by: Xavierlyn Tan
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