Positive Behaviour Management for Children

What is it?

Positive behaviour management involves guiding your child’s behaviour such that they learn to behave in an appropriate way. An effective way to do so is through implementation of positive behaviour management. This means giving attention to their positive behaviours (eg. through praises and rewards) instead of punishing them for their negative behaviours.

Here are some steps you can take to manage your child’s behaviour in a more positive yet effective way. We will also provide some strategies you can use to target these behaviours.

1. Figuring out the purpose of the behaviour

There are reasons underlying all behaviors. Existing research suggests that inappropriate behaviours, regardless of whether performed by an adult or child, serve one or more of the six purposes which will be illustrated below. When your child does not/cannot verbalise the reason for their behaviours, it is easy to misunderstand their intentions and blame them for being ‘naughty’. This may cause both of you to become frustrated, and accumulation of frustrations over time may create tensions in the parent-child relationship.

To identify the purpose of your child’s behaviour, you may start by considering: ‘what does my child gain from doing this behaviour?’. Hint: Pay close attention to what happens before and after the occurs.

2. Reason for each function from your child's point of view

Gain attention: Displaying difficult behaviours may be a way to gain attention. To a child, getting scolded may be better than getting no attention at all.

Escape from attention: Displaying difficult behaviours may also be a way to escape from attention. There are a handful of children who do not like being repeatedly pestered to do something they do not enjoy.

Engage in preferred activity: Displaying difficult behaviours may be a way for children to get what they want (e.g. watchTV/eat snacks). This may be due to children's inability to delay instant gratification.

Obtain preferred objects: Displaying difficult behaviours could be a child's way of trying to obtain an object they want.

Escape from task: Displaying difficult behaviours may be a way for children to escape from doing work. Reasons for this could be due to the child not wanting to do it, or because he/she is unable to do it.

Obtain physical pleasure: Displaying difficult behaviours may be a way to obtain physical pleasure. This could be due to the need for self-stimulation.

Escape pain: Displaying difficult behaviours may also be a way for children to escape pain.

3. Strategies for each Function

• Gain attention

  • Engage in planned ignoring through consistent ignoring. Inconsistencies in giving/withholding attention can actually strengthen a child's persistence to get your attention. Give attention when they display positive behaviours.

  • Teach your child positive ways to gain attention. When your child displays positive behaviour (e.g. helping others), provide attention and praise.

  
  

• Engage in preferred activity

  • If the preferred activity is sometimes acceptable (e.g. reading), let your child know when he/she can do the activity. Tell the child that the activity is not available if this happens at an inappropriate time. If the difficult behaviour persists, do not allow the child access to the activity, and provide a negative consequence (eg. taking away 10 minutes from TV time).

  • If the preferred activity is never acceptable (e.g. slapping friends), provide a negative consequence (e.g. no snacks).

  
  

• Escape from Task

  • If your child has the ability to perform the task but does not want to, try to sustain his/her attention on the task, then gradually lengthening it. You can provide scheduled breaks for your child if necessary. Make sure he/she gets positive consequences for completing the task (e.g. praise).

  • If your child is unable to perform the task, try to make the task easier or teach him/her how to perform the task

  
  

• Obtain physical pleasure

  • If the behaviour occurs in an inappropriate setting (e.g. picking nose in public), tell your child that the behaviour is not permitted in this time and place. Remember to also let your child know when is an appropriate time to do so.

  
  

• Escape pain

  • Teach your child an effective way of communicating to you or others that he/she is in pain. It is important to identify the cause of the pain and take necessary steps to reduce or remove it.

  
  

Possible Case Scenarios

Scenario 1: A 5-year-old child keeps screaming

Step 1: Purpose → To escape Pain

Step 2: Reason → To escape physical discomfort from a stomachache

Step 3: Strategy → Provide visuals for the child to communicate that he/she is in pain

Scenario 2: A 10-year-old student keeps hitting hisclassmates

Step 1: Purpose → To escape from task

Step 2: Reason → Appears to lack the ability to perform task

Step 3: Strategy → Make task easier for the child then gradually increasing the difficulty of the task

Parental Resources

Autism Resource Centre

www.autism.org.sg

The Autism Resource provides workshops and training for parents and caregivers.

Ministry of Social and Family Development (Baby Bonus Portal)

www.babybonus.msf.gov.sg/parentingresources

The Baby Bonus Portal includes parenting resources on development, socialising and well-being of children with special needs.

SG Enable

www.sgenable.sg

The SG Enable website includes information on parental support and referrals for children and youths with special needs.

Singapore Counselling Centre

www.scc.sg

The Singapore Counselling Centre offers Positive Behaviour Support, a strategy used to address challenging behaviours.

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Written and Edited by: Eulisia Er and Xavierlyn Tan | Designed by: Xavierlyn Tan