Money and Family - Talking About Money

Why Is It Important To Have Conversations About Money

Talking about money can be really uncomfortable, even in this day and age. The stigma surrounding money talk is still an issue. Considering the fact that nobody is born with an innate understanding of money, it would make logical sense to seek help on money matters; yet, most of us are too embarrassed to ask for help. The reason behind this could simply be due to social comparison – we feel foolish when looking at others and we put ourselves down for not having it all figured out too. Such taboos need to be broken as talking about something as ubiquitous and complicated as money is immensely crucial.

Once we do start talking about money, often as an adult, it can be overwhelming to realise just how many years of our built up habits we have to work on changing. Our early childhood influences us more than we realise. Behavioural researchers from Cambridge University say that children start learning about money as young as 3, and most of their attitudes and feelings about money are formed by age 7.

Talking about Money with Children

One behaviour that children usually observe is spending. Everything else — like saving, budgeting, investing and donating — mostly happens behind the scenes. Children often can’t equate how many hours of work go into earning the money used to make a purchase.

Talking about Money in the Workplace

Normalizing money talk makes it easier for employees to figure out if they are being compensated fairly. Many employees think they’re being unfairly paid as they don’t know what fair pay for their job looks like. Opening up about compensation creates a more transparent workplace that values self-advocacy and open communication. It may provide you the boost to ask for a raise, or negotiate a bonus, all of which are crucial for fair compensation.

Money and Relationships: Talking about money to your partner

Why should I talk to my partner

Financial incompatibility can make or break your relationship. It is also commonly cited as one of the most common reasons for disagreements between couples. In the case of married couples, financial incompatibility is one of the top reasons these couples seek marital counselling and initiate divorce. Additionally, by communicating one’s financial situation and habits to your partner, you and your partner can set realistic expectations of your financial status. Furthermore, this allows you to deal with financial issues without damaging the relationship should they arise down the line.

When should I talk to my partner

To avoid awkward or financially daunting situations down the line, it is best to start early. Peter Saddington, a counsellor from Relate, advises that “tackling difficult topics early on avoids the potential for resentment to emerge later and lead to more destructive arguments”. By discussing finances early on, couples are more likely to overcome financial issues successfully without straining the relationship.

What and How should I talk to my partner

Transparency about your financial status

Disclosing your financial standing with your partner allows you to have a clear idea on how to map out your financial future with your partner. This also helps you account for emergencies and big-ticket expenses down the line
Keep the conversation casual
Degree of transparency is highly dependent on you

Communicating your financial goals

Map out a viable financial plan for a future as a couple, it is important to communicate your financial goals to each other. This includes being transparent about your spending and saving habits, financial goals at different milestones
You and your partner’s financial goals may not be perfectly aligned, and it is perfectly okay! Here is where compromises and mutual understanding is crucial in order to find a sweet spot where both of you are happy.

Combining finances (or not)

While some couples set up joint bank accounts, others may prefer to keep their money separate. As a couple, you do not need to have a joint bank account. Rather, it is more crucial to have both parties be involved in budgeting and planning your finances together on a regular basis
Should include the outflows of shared expenses

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