How to Make the Unfamiliar Seem Less Scary

We’ve all felt that flutter of fear when stepping into the unknown, be it a new job, a different city, or an unfamiliar group. But what if that fear wasn’t a barrier, but a sign of opportunity? According to Keith Rollag, the anxiousness we feel in new situations is rooted in human evolution: our brains are wired to be wary of strangers and change. The key, Rollag argues, is to shift how we perceive these moments, viewing them as opportunities to learn, grow, and connect.

One potent way to tame that anxiety is through positive self-talk. As Walden University explains, the inner voice we constantly hear can either erode our confidence or build it up. By replacing self-defeating statements like “I’ve never done this before” with encouraging ones like “It’s an opportunity to learn something new,” we build resilience, self-esteem, and a readiness to face fresh challenges. People may even find it helpful to refer to themselves in the second or third person, “You’ve got this,” or use their own name, which research has shown can improve performance and reduce anxiety.

Another part of daring to adventure comes from the courage to be vulnerable. True courage involves stepping out of our comfort zones and adventuring on that exhilarating path of unfamiliarity. You must be willing to ask hard questions, be self-aware, and embrace uncertainty as a space for growth.

In short: reframe new experiences as growth opportunities, silence your inner critic with positive self-talk, and embrace courage. When we lean into adventure with a learning mindset, the unfamiliar monster will be vanquished.

Written by: Snehal Bhandari

01/2026

References

Rollag, K. (n.d.). What to Do When You’re New: How to Be Comfortable, Confident, and Successful in New Situations — Summary. College of West Anglia Alumni News. Retrieved from: https://cwa.ac.uk/about/alumni/alumni-news/book-summary-what-to-do-when-youre-new-by-keith-rollag-how-to-be-comfortable-confident-and-successful-in-new-situations

Walden University. (n.d.). How Positive Self-Talk Can Make You Feel Better and Be More Productive. Retrieved from: https://www.waldenu.edu/online-bachelors-programs/bs-in-psychology/resource/how-positive-self-talk-can-make-you-feel-better-and-be-more-productive

South African College of Applied Psychology (SACAP). (n.d.). Be Courageous / leadership and courage resources. Retrieved from: https://www.sacap.edu.za/blog/management-leadership/be-courageous/