Forgiving Others

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or saying what happened was okay, but it does mean we choose not to let it hurt us anymore. It helps us move on instead of staying stuck in the past. Forgiveness is not just about letting someone off the hook; it’s about allowing ourselves to heal.

The psychology behind forgiveness

When we hold onto anger or pain, we experience increased stress, anxiety, and even depressive symptoms. Psychologists say that forgiving others can improve our mental health. Studies show that people who forgive feel happier, sleep better, and have lower blood pressure. Emotionally, forgiveness brings relief, reduces sadness and anxiety, and improves self-esteem. It’s like lifting a heavy burden off our chest. So, while it may be hard, forgiving someone is a powerful step toward emotional freedom and better mental health.

How do you forgive?

Forgiveness is a process that takes time and effort. According to the Conscious Leadership Group, true forgiveness has four stages: hate or anger, hurt, heal, and forgive. First, you must give yourself space and time to be angry, which might even translate into resentment or hate. Then, hurt: for most, this will be pain, an ache, an emptiness. It will often be accompanied by tears, even sobbing. To heal, you must release the pain and resentment. Finally, you choose how to move forward, whether to rebuild the relationship or not.

The limits of forgiveness

However, forgiveness has limits. It doesn’t mean forgetting or tolerating harmful behaviour. In some cases, like abuse or repeated betrayal, forgiving from a distance is healthier. Boundaries are important. Forgiveness is for our peace, not to excuse others’ actions. We can forgive someone and still choose not to trust or reconnect with them.

 In conclusion, forgiveness is a personal journey that brings emotional healing, but it must be balanced with self-respect and healthy boundaries.

Written by: Snehal Bhandari

01/2026

References

Dethmer, J. (2024). Let It Burn: The Four Stages of True Forgiveness | Conscious Leadership Group Blog. Conscious.is. http://conscious.is/blogs/let-it-burn-the-four-stages-of-true-forgiveness

Forgiveness. (2025). Greater Good. http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/forgiveness

Mayo Clinic Staff. (2022, November 22). Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692