How do we practise active listening in our daily lives? 

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There are three important point to note when being an active listener: nonverbal involvement, verbal paraphrasing, and asking questions for others to elaborate. Let’s dive right in!

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Nonverbal cues:

Nonverbal actions such as appropriate eye contact and composure demonstrate attentiveness and friendliness (Weger Jr et al, 2014). To apply this in our conversations, we should aim to maintain healthy levels of eye contact with the people we are speaking to and be mindful of our body language. Actions such as nodding and shaking your head can help convey your thoughts to the speaker as well.

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Verbal paraphrasing:

Verbally paraphrasing what someone is telling you is a good way to show that you are paying attention to them. It helps communicate that you understand the conversation and are interested in it (Cissna & Sieburg, 1981). 

This involves repeating what someone has told us in a slightly different manner but capturing the essence of what is being shared, while also summarising the content in a concise form. For instance, we could say, “I see that what happened at work today was really important to you” to someone who is going through troubles at work (Saripalli, 2021). Subsequently, validating the speaker may be helpful as well! An example of this could be, “I know this was not easy to talk about and it means a lot that you feel comfortable sharing with me.” (Saripalli, 2021)

If we have suggestions or thoughts in mind, we could even put them forward as well (Weger Jr et al, 2014), but make sure to first check if the person is comfortable taking suggestions, and using “I” rather than “you” statements can help the reduce the possibility that the person sharing will feel accused or get defensive (Saripalli, 2021).

 

Asking Questions:

Finally, asking questions encourages the speaker to elaborate on what they are saying (Devito, 2007). Questions should be asked when the situation allows for it, and without interrupting the speaker.